I'm really into asian looking animals
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
