Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This baby is an asshole
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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