dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
