he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
