I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
we're so committed to being not committed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
