.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
