We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Randomize
