We won't sleep together?
youre lurking in front of me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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