I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
