You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
