so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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