We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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