how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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