You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
