At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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