I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
