Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
