My room smells like vodka and shame
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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