I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
