Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Your cock deserves a montage
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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