how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
