Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
