You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
