This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
