dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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