if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
