no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
