I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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