This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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