So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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