Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
