We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
