Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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