Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My ass is underappreciated
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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