The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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