Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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