I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
