shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
