I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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