I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
