I think scott just propositioned me for sex
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
