I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
