I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
