If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
