Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
