kristin has been a bad kristin
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So vagazzling was a success
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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