So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
