Define "chronic" masturbator.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
