I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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