currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
