My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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