oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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